


Bound Two

by nofeartina



Series: Rearranged [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alcohol and recreational drug use, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Even, Brief Isak/OC (off screen), Even wants to be Isak's boyfriend, First Time, Fuckboy!Isak, M/M, Sad!Isak, Self-Medication, Top Isak, because he's also just really pitiful, blowjob, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 18:15:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11236512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nofeartina/pseuds/nofeartina
Summary: “You don’t really want to date me, Even. Believe me,” Isak says.“I don’t?”Isak just shakes his head. There’s nothing for him to offer a guy like Even. He should be treated like royalty, pampered every day. That’s never going to be Isak. He doesn’t have that kind of affection in him anymore. There’s nothing left.





	Bound Two

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really wanted to write a fuckboy!Isak fic, because there isn't that many, and this is what my brain came up with. Obviously this Isak is more of a sad pitiful Isak, but what can you do...? ;)
> 
> This is dedicated to the lovely [issyandevi](http://issyandevi.tumblr.com/). I hope this fic lifts your mood, bb! <3 
> 
> Betaed by my guru, the always perfect [mornmeril](http://mornmeril.tumblr.com/), go show her some love!
> 
> Okay, now I'm done naming names (even if I really should mention Magurt who liked the idea of a fuckboy!Isak fic and basically made me write it ;)), so please go read, and I hope you enjoy it!

The first time Isak notices him is at a party. Because of course it is. The music is loud, the place is filled with people, and Isak is drunk and high and horny. He’s there to quench his mind, to get so fucked up that his brain will stop yelling at him. He’s already chatting up a guy, pretty sure that he’s going to end up getting a blowjob in the bathroom in a matter of minutes. The guy is clearly into Isak.

Not even half an hour later Isak is leaving the bathroom feeling less restless and somewhat sated. He’s rubbing at a spot of cum on his t-shirt, annoyed that he didn’t manage to get the t-shirt out of the way in time, so distracted by it that he almost walks right into a person standing in line for the toilet.

He looks up surprised, says _sorry_ automatically but what he sees takes his breath away. The guy is tall, taller than Isak, which he’s not really used to. And he’s probably the most fucking beautiful specimen of a man Isak has ever seen.

The guy says, “No worries.” And smiles at Isak.

Isak feels something stirring in his chest, which in turn makes him flee the scene. Gorgeous he may be, but Isak’s not really into that, _that feeling_. And he just got off, so he’s not really looking to hook up anymore tonight. Instead he pushes the guy from his mind and goes to find his friends, who he left with his bottle of vodka.    

\--||--

Isak knows it’s fucked up. He knows he’s not dealing well, and he understands that the way that he’s handling it is probably not helping. He’s not functioning like he should be. He can see it in the way his friends live their lives. They love, they laugh, they _feel_.

Isak just _can’t_. He just doesn’t have it in him anymore. He used to think that there was a chance for him, thinks that if he’d managed to get away from his parents, from how his dad abandoned them, leaving him to take care of his sick mum, who got so bad at times that he was afraid to go to sleep, then he could’ve had a chance. But he didn’t. During his years at Nissen he alienated himself from his friends, nobody really knew how bad it was, nobody really understood how hard he was suffering. Even Jonas was left behind when his mother became really bad.

He knows, realistically, that something has to change, that he can’t keep living like this. That it’s not good for him in the long run. He’s just not sure how to stop. What to do instead. His mind is killing him, gets louder and louder as the week passes. Makes it hard for him to sleep or to focus on anything else but school and the constant buzz in his head. Even the weed isn’t doing much anymore, it seems to be getting worse.

The only thing that makes his mind quiet, makes it calm down enough for him to sleep is to get really drunk and high, and to have the kind of release that sex brings. The release is what sets him off, being close to somebody for once, letting himself be touched. It puts his mind to rest every time, and once it’s done he always leaves the parties and goes straight to bed and sleeps the whole day after.

And then he starts over. Rinse, repeat.

\--||--

Isak keeps his head down during the week. He knows he kind of has a reputation by now, but being at uni makes people care less about things like that, thankfully. He knows that people think he’s a total fuckboy, and he guesses that he is. He never promises anything though, never lies to the people he uses for sex. He makes sure they know that he’s not interested in anything else. He’s learned his lesson the hard way, and he won’t do that to others.

He’s living alone in a teeny tiny 1-bedroom apartment far enough from uni to be cheap. He doesn’t work, gets by on his state education grant and the occasional monetary support that seems to ease his dad’s conscience. He spends most of his time during the week getting high and studying, is first in his class and proud of it. He’s not going to let it get him down, he’s going to exceed expectation, he’s going to excel and be the best at what he does. He’s not going to let his parents and the other people who have hurt him get in his way to _be_ somebody.

He just wishes sometimes that he didn’t have to be so lonely getting there.

\--||--

In the end, it’s not even Isak who approaches him. Isak isn’t really used to being the one people start talking to. Generally he’s too grumpy and unapproachable when he’s not on the prowl for people to come up to him. But the guy doesn’t let that deter him, doesn’t even seem to mind that Isak is standing with a group of friends trying to get drunk enough to start smoking. He just walks up to him and smiles.

“You’re Isak, right?” he says and Isak immediately frowns.

His entire group of friends goes quiet and are curiously looking at the guy, already almost scoffing at his nerve. Isak is trying to decide how big of an asshole he should be, but in a span of seconds he kind of just decides to go with the flow. He really wouldn’t mind fucking this guy.

“Yeah. What’s it to you?” He never said he would be nice about it.

“I think I’ve seen you in class, the one Professor Folkestad has?” and he seems relaxed and cool as he says it.

Isak turns towards him, takes a small step out of his circle of friends to close them out of the conversation a little bit.

“You’re in that class too?” He knows he sounds incredulous, but he can’t help it. It’s really not that big of a class and he’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed this guy there.

“Yeah,” he says and after a small pause he adds. “I’m Even, by the way.”

And Isak only has to think about it for a few seconds, before he takes the bait. Even is by far the most good-looking guy at this party, and he’s making it real easy for him as well.

“Okay. Do you want to catch some fresh air, Even?” he says and takes a sip of his beer in a very suggestive way.

He’s immediately gratified by how Even’s pupils dilate and he flushes a bit. He’s unabashedly staring at Isak’s lips, making his intentions obvious.

“Yes,” he replies quickly, with absolutely no hesitation.

Isak puts his hand on Even’s back and leads him away from his friends, who are all busy making suggestive sounds after them. He can’t help but throw them a smirk over his shoulder, leaving no one in doubt of what’s going to happen.

They have managed to find an empty bedroom and Isak has Even pushed against the wall within seconds, covering him as much as he can. His kisses are addictive, full of tongue and teeth, and those lips that are sending shivers down Isak’s spine. It’s been a while since he’s been this turned on, since he’s wanted someone this badly. He just wants to kiss and feel those lips on him, he just wants Even’s hands on his skin, pulling him together, setting him right.

Even tries to pull away from the kiss, but Isak won’t let him, keeps chasing him back into the kiss, doesn’t really want to talk right now. Finally he manages to break away, and pushes Isak away enough for him to catch his breath.

“Do you… Do you want to, maybe, go for a coffee sometime?” and he sounds so adorable, looks so nervous, and Isak almost can’t stand it. This boy does things to him, and he wants to wreck him.

He smirks at him, and kisses him hard, so hard that he’s pushed further into the wall.

“No, but I do want to blow you…” Isak says and doesn’t let Even answer before he drops to his knees. He doesn’t hesitate to nuzzle his face into the obvious bulge in Even’s pants and enjoys how that makes Even whine above him.

Isak can feel his mouth flood with saliva and he desperately needs to taste Even’s dick now. He rushes through opening Even’s pants, just enough that he can get his hand around it.

Even puts his fingers in Isak’s hair and pushes Isak towards him, directs him to his dick, and Isak loves it. Can feel his own throbbing in sympathy, and loves how Even feeds him his dick. Isak gasps as the taste of him hits his tastebuds, he’s lost in it immediately, starts sucking and moaning, takes him down his throat as far as he can go. He revels in the sounds he’s forcing out of Even, who’s moaning loudly, saying his name over and over, like a prayer.

It’s probably the sloppiest blowjob he’s ever given, his mouth is flooding with saliva enough for it to start dripping down Even’s dick, all the way to his balls and Isak uses it to slick up his fingers. With his other hand he pushes down Even’s pants even more, enough for him to be able to reach around and tease his crack with his slicked up fingers. Even keens above him, and Isak has to look, has to see if he’s as turned on as he sounds.

As soon as Isak looks up at him, Even groans and mutters “Fuck, Isak, you look so good.”

And Isak knows he does. He knows the effect he has with his angelic face, and how the stretch of his stupid cupid’s bow, that everybody seems to love, looks. He _knows_ , but he has to see Even, has to see how he looks when he’s lost in pleasure. And he does, he’s enthralled by how hard Even’s panting now, how his eyelashes flutter like he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open as he watches Isak.

Isak can taste another burst of precum on his tongue, can feel it in the way Even is trembling now that he’s close to coming, so he stops teasing his rim and eases a spit-slick finger inside him. He’s so tight, and warm, and Isak can’t help imagining what it would be like to be buried to the hilt in that heat, how perfect it would feel.

He’s not even past the first knuckle before Even is warning him, trying to pull away, saying how he’s about to come. But Isak has to taste him, he needs it. So he starts sucking harder, takes him down his throat even further. He’s soon rewarded as Even comes with a loud moan, pulling at his hair hard, just on the verge of too painful, and Isak eats it up. He swallows and swallows, licks and moans, keeps his finger inside of Even, just barely wriggling, just enough for Even to feel it there. It’s not until Even is completely spent, dick starting to soften as he slumps against the wall with shaking legs, that Isak gets up.

He’s frantic now, so desperate to come that he mindlessly pushes Even back against the wall with just enough room for him to get his dick out, and leans in to kiss him. He wants Even to taste himself in his mouth, to feel how his come is coating the inside of it, his teeth and his tongue as he thrusts it inside him. He’s stroking himself frantically, and when he feels the tingles in his lower stomach telling him that he’s about to come he leans back from Even so he can pull up Even’s shirt a bit. He comes all over Even’s dick and stomach, painting him in ropes of cum, marking him up prettily. The sight of his cum on Even makes his toes curl further and twitches another glob of cum out of him, even though he thought he was done.

He slumps back into Even, keeps stroking himself slowly, enjoying the last shudders of his orgasm as they run through him. He’s still panting, still weak in the knees as he starts to pull away from Even. He rights himself, puts his still half-hard dick back inside his pants and straightens out his clothes.

Even keeps looking at him throughout it all in a way that Isak can’t decipher. He looks delicious standing there, flushed and covered in Isak’s come. He stays still, doesn’t make any move to follow suit and clean himself up.

“You don’t really want to date me, Even. Believe me,” Isak says and wipes a stray remnant of cum off the side of his mouth with his hand.

Even’s eyes follow the movement with interest, like he’s debating helping Isak, and asks “I don’t?”

Isak just shakes his head. There’s nothing for him to offer a guy like Even. He should be treated like royalty, pampered every day. That’s never going to be Isak. He doesn’t have that kind of affection in him anymore. There’s nothing left.

He can see it in Even’s eyes that he doesn’t believe Isak, that he thinks that this is somewhat amusing. And Isak knows he has to do something to turn him off. So he does what comes easy to him, he does what he knows best.

“I’m sure you’re nice and all that, but I don’t really care. You have a nice dick, I don’t really want more than that from you.”

He doesn’t expect his words to make Even smile. But they do.

“I _am_ nice, you know. And I’m going to make you want to date me, you’ll see,” he says with a confidence that surprises Isak.

Isak should lash out even harder, there’s really no reason for this guy to get his hopes up. But Isak kind of likes that Even’s pushing back. He wonders if maybe Even can look right through him, can see that Isak’s infatuated enough that he probably won’t stop hooking up with him. Logically, Isak knows that he should move in for the kill, should say something to really turn him off him.

Instead he says, “Bye, Even.” And leaves Even there, with his pants around his thighs, cum dripping down his stomach and his spent dick hanging out.

He goes back to his friends, who greet him with catcalls and claps on the back, like he’s such a player, and spends the rest of the night getting so fucked up on weed and alcohol that he wakes up the next day not knowing how he even made it home.

\--||--

That sight stays with him for a long time.

When he closes his eyes he keeps seeing Even, standing there, looking used in the best of ways, smiling at Isak. Not even saying bye back. Looking like he knew something that Isak just hadn’t realised yet.

It almost distracts him enough to disturb his studying, but he pulls himself together, smokes an extra joint and does his absolute best to get Even out of his head. He has no use for him there. There’s no reason for him to start thinking about Even, when he knows there’s just no way that he’s ever going to have more to give than the occasional hook up.

Isak stays away from Professor Folkestad’s lessons for a while.

\--||--

The next time they meet it’s definitely Isak who notices Even first.

He sees him from the moment Even arrives, can’t help but keep track of him as he enters the room and stands with his group of friends. Seeing him again makes Isak realise that his mind really hasn’t done him enough justice, he’s even better looking in real life. Isak has a thing for taller guys. He’s so tall himself that most of the time he’s towering over the guys he’s with, has to lean down to kiss. It doesn’t really bother him, it’s not a deal-breaker in any way, as long as the guy is cute. But sometimes Isak likes being the one who’s being towered over, likes to have to tilt his chin up to get a kiss.

He doesn’t even really care that he’s not that drunk yet, definitely not high enough, he just _wants_. He keeps looking at Even until he looks back, and as soon as he does Isak nods his head towards the stairs to the upstairs rooms and raises his eyebrows questioningly. Even immediately follows.

This time it’s Isak pushing him down to his knees, getting his hands into that glorious hair-do, revelling in the softness. Even goes easily, and Isak is floored by the sight of his dick in his mouth. That mouth and those lips look so good stretched out over his dick, and Even looks like he’s really enjoying it.

Isak can’t help but thrust his hips a bit, just helps the slide along to relieve some tension and Even chokes a bit but soldiers through it. Isak loses himself in it, in the heat and the wetness of Even’s mouth, how his body tingles and his toes curl in his shoes. He’s being louder than normal, but something about how Even enjoys blowing him, how enthusiastic it is, is really doing it for Isak. It’s by far not the best blowjob he’s ever gotten, but he can’t deny the sight of Even on his knees in front of him like that makes it more than worth his while.

There’s something about Even that makes him want to take. And Even just keeps wanting to give. Isak shouldn’t want like that. He should leave him alone, find somebody else, definitely not keep returning, but he can’t deny how much he wants to.

Isak comes all over Even’s face, completely ruining his hair and making Even look so fucking beautiful all covered in cum like that. Isak can’t help but lick at Even’s lips, just to taste himself on Even, and rubs it into Even’s cheek with his thumb a little bit.

They don’t even make it to the bed this time either, even though it’s right next to the wall they’re standing against.

\--||--

The third time he notices Even, Isak is fucked out of his brain. He is so, so high, having started smoking that morning and just never stopped, and he’s had way too much to drink. When Even finds him he’s not even sure anymore that he can get it up for him, and he’s suddenly disappointed that he let himself get so wasted.

He still ends up fingering Even until he comes, kissing him sloppily and unattractively. Despite being wasted he’s at least good enough for that.

\--||--

Isak can’t believe that he’s finally going to be able to fuck Even. He feels like he’s wanted this for so long, he’s almost frantic with need by now. And he’s convinced that he just needs to fuck this boy out of his system. One good, hard fuck, and then that will be it for Isak. That’s how it normally works for him after all.

As soon as Isak had arrived at the party, Even had found him and they’d left straight away to go to Even’s place. Isak is almost pushing him up the stairs, and when they get to the front door of Even’s apartment, he can barely wait until Even’s unlocked the door before he pushes him through. His kisses are demanding and he blindly follows where Even leads them until they’re in Even’s bedroom. Isak’s lips leave Even’s just long enough for him to push him down on the bed, and he immediately turns Even over so he’s lying on his stomach.

Even is panting, and makes a strangled sound as Isak puts his weight on him. Isak can’t help but grind down into his perfect bum as he bites and kisses into his neck with his hands under Even, opening his pants. Even is grabbing onto the bedsheets, knuckles white, turning his head so he can look at Isak, and Isak can’t help but smirk at him when he finally manages to open his pants. He leans back so he can pull them down to Even’s thighs, just enough to give him room for what he wants. Isak empties his back pocket for a couple of sachets of lube and a few condoms and throws them on the bed within easy reach.

Faster than he thought possible he has his own pants down his thighs and is opening one of the condoms.

“Spread your legs for me,” Isak says and his dick pulses with need when Even follows his instructions so beautifully. Isak puts on a condom and empties the content of a sachet over his fingers, making sure the spill-over hits Even’s crack. He wastes no time, just immediately starts rubbing his lubed fingers over Even’s rim, making sure to get his hole wet, and then he carelessly pushes two fingers in.

He only gets as far as to the first knuckles before he can feel Even clench real hard around his fingers and making a sound likes he’s uncomfortable. Isak’s gaze immediately jumps from the perfect sight of his fingers in Even’s ass to his face. He keeps his fingers still, but leans up so he can see Even better, and kisses him on his cheek.

“Am I going too fast?” he says and Even looks like he doesn’t know how to answer that question. His cheeks are flushed, and he looks _wrecked_ already, biting his lip, his hair a complete mess.

Even buries his head in the bed for a hot second, but then lifts it so he can talk. “Just…” he starts, then swallows, and Isak really hopes it’s due to being turned on. He really doesn’t want to stop now. “Just go slow, please.”

And Isak kisses his cheek again, he has to, still wonders what Even’s sweat tastes like, and he wants to kiss his lips, is already leaning over him to do just that when Even continues.

“I’ve never done this before.”

Everything in Isak freezes. He’s stuck there in this ridiculous position, with a condom on and two lubed fingers in Even’s ass and he almost can’t process what Even is telling him.

“You’ve never been fucked before?” Isak asks incredulously. He can’t reconcile this Even with the image he’s had in his head. He carefully takes out his fingers from Even’s ass, and sits down heavily beside him.

Even shakes his head and looks so embarrassed by this admission. “But I really want to, with you. I don’t want you to stop.”

Somewhere deep inside of him Isak’s conscience is yelling at him, but he’s so keyed up. He just really wants to fuck Even tonight. But he still has to know, doesn’t want Even to feel like he’s making a mistake.

“Are you sure, Even?”

And Even looks so earnest and eager as he nods, and then he leans up and captures Isak’s lips in a searing kiss. Isak pulls back after a few seconds, slowly putting an end to the kiss. His eyes scan Even’s face, but he can’t see any hesitation there. Isak is powerless against Even when he looks like that; open and vulnerable. Like he really trusts that Isak won’t fuck him up. Which is reason enough that Isak should leave right now. He will never be able to live up to the trust that Even puts in him.

Isak’s face must show some hesitation, because Even gets up on his knees, and starts to strip off his jacket and his shirt. He keeps his eyes on Isak, even though Isak can see him blushing. Like he’s really pushing some boundaries to get naked with Isak.

Isak is still just sitting there on the bed, his dick out, pants around his thighs. He’s still very hard, fighting a battle in his head with how he _should_ say no, but somehow doesn’t want to at all. It’s not until Even is stripped bare on his upper body and sits down to push his pants down his legs that Isak is spurred into action.

He grabs hold of Even’s wrist, and pushes him to lie down on the bed with a firm push, his other hand still covered in lube.

And with a sigh he gives in and says, “Okay. Okay, Even, I’ll give you what you need.”

He leans over to kiss Even, to maybe remove some of his nerves, before he leans back to remove the rest of Even’s clothes. He can’t take his eyes off Even, who is just lying there, pliant and _trusting_ , even though Isak is the last person in the world he should want to trust. Isak makes quick work of his own clothes, and soon he’s positioning himself between Even’s thighs.

He starts off with kissing Even, kisses him like he really means it, and holds him tight in his arms. The urgency is gone, instead Isak is surprised to find that he just really wants to make this good for Even. Maybe to compensate for how shitty his own first time had been. Even deserves more. He deserves so much more, so he kisses down his neck, sucks on his collarbone for a second, just to hear Even sigh like that, and then he continues kissing down his chest.

He can’t help but smile when he gets to Even’s dick, which is still one of the most perfect dicks he’s ever been in contact with. It’s rock hard, straining against Even’s belly, pulsing with need. And Isak swipes his tongue over the head, just to taste the precum, just to warn Even of what’s to come, and just that little contact makes Even’s abs clench deliciously and he says _Isak!_ in a way that goes straight to Isak’s dick, making it hard for him to be patient.

He licks it with broad strokes of his tongue, getting it wet, letting Even feel him breathing against him. And when he finally takes him in his mouth, Even squirms under him and thrusts his hips and it’s only Isak’s experience that makes it possible for him to not choke on his dick, even if Isak can think of worse ways to go.

Even is trembling and is constantly moving his legs, he looks like he’s completely overtaken by how good it feels to be blown by Isak and Isak uses his arms to spread Even’s legs open and hurries to rub his still lubed hand against Even’s crack again. He’s still wet there and the first finger slips in relatively easy. Isak isn’t normally a patient man, is completely torn between hurrying the foreplay up and going slow enough for Even to be able to fully enjoy it. He inserts the second finger as soon as Even seems ready and it’s already a tight fit.

Even clenches down on his fingers, and the pressure is making Isak’s dick weep in the condom. He can’t help but imagine just how snugly his dick is going to fit into Even’s ass, how good it’s going to feel.

He lets Even’s dick slide out of his mouth enough for him to say, “Relax for me, baby. Come on, bear down on my fingers.”  

And the endearment must do something to Even, because he immediately loosens around Isak’s fingers and he uses the momentum to add a third. The addition makes Even’s hand tighten in the sheets, and his face scrunches like he’s in pain.

Isak continues slowly fucking him with three fingers, relying on him to say stop if it gets too much. He gets Even’s dick back in his mouth and starts blowing him again.

Having Even like this under him is doing things to Isak, he really, really wants to be buried to the hilt in him. He’s starting to lose patience and as soon as he can feel Even loosen up a bit around his fingers, he let’s go of Even’s dick and says:

“Can I fuck you now?” He just manages to swallow down the please that almost slips out of him. He has to remind himself that he doesn’t say please, he doesn’t ask for favours.

Even looks at Isak, hesitates for a few seconds, and then nods.

“It will be easier for you if you get on all fours.” Isak has to swallow down the thought that it might make it easier for Isak as well, that fucking Even face to face may very well be too much.

Even turns around clumsily, gets on all fours and presents himself to Isak. It seems like his shyness has disappeared for now, as he’s laying himself bare for Isak, showing him all without resolve.

Even is looking so fantastic in this position, all long limbs, perfect skin and tight muscle. His pucker is completely exposed to Isak, glistening and waiting for him. He puts his thumb on it and pulls at the rim a bit, just to test how loose Even really is. And because he likes the sight of his finger in Even’s ass. His dick twitches between his legs, and he strokes it loosely a couple of times, just to relieve the tension. He picks up the sachet of lube and empties the rest out over his dick, and when it’s sufficiently wet, he finally gets in position behind Even, completely pressed up against his thighs and ass.

Isak is careful as he breaches him. He can feel Even tense up under him, and he waits it out, grits his teeth, tightens his grip on his dick so he won’t come from the clench. Even feels incredible, pulling him in, making it so, so hard for him to go slow, to be careful. But he does. He needs to.

Isak carefully pushes his dick into Even, centimetre by centimetre, constantly battling the need to just bury himself to the hilt in the delicious heat. Isak is engulfed by pressure, by warmth, and he can’t believe how good Even feels inside.

He can feel Even shake underneath him, and he wants to say something to him to comfort him, he’s just not sure what would actually do the trick, if there’s anything he could offer that would make Even relax further. Instead he loosens the grip he has on Even’s waist and puts his hand on his back instead. He strokes it in long soothing brushes, just caressing his skin, feeling how slick he is with sweat. He’s panting and whining, and when Isak finally bottoms out he remains completely still, giving Even time to adapt. Isak knows how completely overwhelming it can be to have a dick in your ass. He wants to make sure that Even is with him, that he’s not hurting.

He can’t help but lean forward and kiss across Even’s shoulders and just the movement of him leaning forward punches a strangled sound out of Even and his arms gives out, leaving him on his elbows with his ass further into the air.

“Isak,” he says and pauses like he’s not really sure what he was about to say, Isak stills even more, afraid that Even is going to ask him to pull out. “You feel so good.” He whispers instead, like a secret, like he can’t believe it.

Isak’s heart beats faster and he can’t help the heat that spreads through his body. Nobody has ever talked to him in bed like that before. He has to close his eyes, tries desperately to fight the onslaught of emotion running through him. He has to move, has to, or else he’s never going to be able to ignore the flutter under his skin that Even leaves there. He wants it to be over, to stop feeling so into it, into whatever this is, and he wants it to continue forever, to be buried inside Even like this always. He has a feeling that if he lets himself, he’d never be done with this, never be done with Even.

He keeps his movement small, just minuscule thrusts, barely even there, but Isak can feel Even heating up under him with just those small movements. So he goes faster, a little bit harder, just to see how Even will react. And Even is so perfectly responsive, moans with every thrust, even starts to move with Isak a bit. He’s clearly enjoying himself.

Isak loves it. He can’t believe his luck, that he’s the one who gets to see Even like this. That nobody else has done this before him. It makes something unfurl in his chest, makes him feel a little bit possessive, that he gets to take this first from Even. Makes Isak unforgettable to Even in his own way.

Isak moves faster, urges Even to spread his legs more, which he does, and then Isak angles his hips with every thrust, looking for Even’s prostate. There’s no question when he hits it, Even’s arms give out completely and he says “fuck, fuck, Isak, fuck,” like he’s not even conscious that he’s talking and as Isak continues stabbing his prostate with every thrust, he can feel Even’s body start to really shake under him, and he lets out these sobs that would concern Isak if it wasn’t for how obvious Even’s body is in his pleasure.

He wraps himself around Even, uses both arms around him to push him harder onto his dick, to direct him exactly where he wants, and when he finally puts his hand around Even’s dick, Even comes after only two strokes, desperate and frantic and so fucking gorgeous that Isak has to grit his teeth against it. He fucks him through it, enjoys the flutter of his walls around his dick, the added clench, and he stops controlling his movements, fucks him harder and rougher, uses him as a vessel to get off.

When he finally comes, he buries himself as far as he can inside Even with both hands on his hips, pulling him onto him further, trying to drill deeper. Even is whining under him, clearly uncomfortable by now with the friction, but Isak closes his ears to it, takes what he needs to finish.

He shoots into the condom deep inside Even, uncoordinated and far sooner than he normally would. His orgasm flows through him, clears his mind, silences the clutter in his head. He loses himself to the sensation, lets it take him over completely, and he sighs in contentment. This is the best part of sex for him. The few seconds where his release takes over, fills him up to the brink so there’s room for no thoughts, no worries, no fears.

He comes to gradually, fighting against it, wanting to be lost in oblivion for a little bit longer. He feels dazed as he finds himself still buried in Even, panting, pressed up against him. He has to blink a few times to start feeling like himself, and when he looks at Even, Even looks back at him with worry in his eyes.

“Are you ok?” he asks, and Isak can’t help but scoff at that.

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” he says and starts to pull out. He can’t look Even in the eyes again, he’s clearly seen him at his most vulnerable and Isak’s not completely comfortable with that.

As soon as he lets go of Even he falls down onto the bed, naked and glowing and Isak _wants_ so badly still that he has to look away, let’s himself completely focus on taking off the condom and cleaning himself up with some tissue he finds on Even’s desk. He takes a few of them with him and gives them to Even.

“Thanks,” Even says and smiles so bright that Isak doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to run, he wants to be so far away from here that he won’t even remember Even’s name. He wants to stay.

For the first time in a long time he feels unsure of what’s about to happen now. Normally, he would leave real fast after coming, not really looking for the intimacy. But seeing Even lying there, covered in sweat, looking completely sated and with those lips just begging to be kissed makes Isak indecisive in a way he can’t ever remember being before.

In the end, Even makes the decision for him. He grabs Isak’s hand and manhandles him onto the bed. He wraps himself around Isak and whispers in his ear, “I can hear you thinking from a mile away. Don’t. Stay.”

As if it’s that easy.

Isak is stiff as a board, trying really hard to pretend that he’s not. He’s not one for cuddling, isn’t really used to anybody touching him outside of sex. Even relaxes against him, pulls him in further against his chest and sighs in a way that lets Isak know that he’s completely at ease being so close to him.

Isak waits it out. Lets himself lie there, uneasy, until Even finally falls asleep. Then he carefully extricates himself from Even’s monkey-grip and quickly puts on his clothes. He’s out of there before he can even begin to let himself feel any sort of regret.

But he spends the rest of the night wondering how it would have felt if he’d stayed in Even’s arms. How it would feel to wake up like that every morning, wrapped up in somebody. His bed has never felt colder or smaller than it does this night.

\--||--    

Isak doesn’t know what to do. His normal ways of coping don’t really work that well anymore. He hasn’t really been able to sleep, he’s losing focus enough for his school work to suffer, and he _hates_ it. He can’t recognise himself like this, so lost. Lovesick. Every time he closes his eyes he sees Even spread out before him, he can still feel the phantom touches of his arms around him. He finds himself wondering if he would have had a good night’s sleep there for once, just giving in, comforted by Even’s long arms.

He tries getting drunk, tries getting high, but nothing feels like it used to. He just feels empty and can’t help but be the guy in the corner at parties feeling sad for himself. He even tried hooking up, but had to stop before he even came. It just didn’t feel right.

He finally starts going to Professor Folkestad’s lessons again, all nervous and sweaty and unattractive, but Even isn’t there, and he doesn’t turn up to the lessons later on. Isak wonders about it, but it’s soon pushed to the back of his mind.

So when he finally spots Even on campus one day, he’s immediately filled with anger. He’s clenching his fists, knows deep down that he’s being unreasonable, but this mess is clearly Even’s fault. And he has every intention of telling him that.

But then Even turns his head and looks at him, like he almost knew that Isak is there, and his smile’s so blinding that Isak’s immediately disarmed. The tension leaves his body with a sigh and his fists loosen up. He stands still as Even walks towards him, tries not to look, tries not to notice how long his legs are or how he swaggers as he walks. He cannot believe the contrast between this Even walking towards him all confident and at ease with his interest in Isak, and the Even that he deflowered a couple of weeks ago. The enigma that is Even is what keeps pulling him in. He wants to know why he’s like this.

Even stops before him, much closer than he should be, closer than what’s considered polite and normal. Somehow Isak thinks that that’s pretty characteristic of Even, and he doesn’t even _know_ him.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Even says and he really does look happy.

Isak knows he’s frowning, but he just doesn’t get how he can be so happy. It’s very obvious that Isak has gone out of his way to avoid Even, but Even doesn’t really seem bothered by it.

“I haven’t seen you in Professor Folkestad’s lessons?” Isak asks.

And Even smiles even more, his eyes almost lost to it, and says in a teasing tone. “You noticed I wasn’t there?”

Isak shrugs, but he hates how he just showed his hand like that. He’s normally not like this, he’s usually smooth when he wants to be. He really hates that Even can get him so flustered.

“Come on, let’s get some coffee.” Even says, takes a few steps backwards before he turns and starts walking away from Isak.

Isak’s legs start following him on their own, without him even giving it much thought.

They get the coffee to go and find a bench to sit on to drink it. They’re sitting next to each other, and Isak is grateful for the coffee, needs to have something in his hands to occupy him, so his mind will fixate on something other than being this close to Even while sober.

Even keeps throwing him these glances out the corner of his eye, like he’s waiting for Isak to start their conversation. But Isak’s got nothing, his mind’s still stuck on the fact that he’s even sitting there, he’s never even wanted to talk to the guys he hooks up with before.

The silence apparently spurs Even into talking.

“So, I have a confession to make.”

Isak takes a sip of his coffee and tries to sound more casual than he feels when he answers, “Okay?”

Even turns towards him with his body a bit, and really looks at Isak. Isak keeps his eyes on the coffee, doesn’t move a muscle.

“I’m not really in Professor Folkestad’s class.”

And that makes Isak look up at him in surprise. He frowns and reluctantly says, “Okay?”

“I lied to you.”

Isak can’t even with this. His frown deepens and he can’t help but turn a bit towards Even as well. This is definitely not what he thought talking to Even would be like. This constant surprise.

“I just thought you were cute, and I really wanted to talk to you,” Even continues. He looks at Isak like he’s studying him. Isak can feel his body flush a bit, and he fights to keep down the blush that’s threatening to paint his cheeks. Isak Valtersen does not blush!

“I’ve seen you around, knew you were in that class, and when I saw you at that party I couldn’t help it. I had to talk to you.”

And this is where Isak should say something suave, something like _but we didn’t talk, did we?_ but he’s sleep-deprived and a bit hung-over and his mind is a blur. He can’t really get his mouth to work right, to ask the questions that’s stuck in his throat. He feels like the dork that he really is, knows for a fact that if he really talked to Even, really let him see who he was, Even wouldn’t be interested. Most only want him for his looks and his fuckboy-façade, nobody’s _really_ interested in who Isak is.

Suddenly he’s just so tired. He doesn’t want to play this game anymore, doesn’t want Even to take up all his thoughts and his focus, just wants this over with.

“What do you want from me, Even?” he asks, sounding resigned. But he can’t help it.

“I already told you. I want to date you.”

Isak can feel the restlessness fill his body. He can’t stop his leg from bouncing a bit, feels uneasy. There’s so many things he should tell Even to make him back off, but he ends up saying in a low voice. “I don’t date, Even.”

And Even just nods, but keeps smiling. “You’ve never dated me, I really think you should try that before you make a final decision.”

Isak can’t help but smile a small smile back at that. He doesn’t really want to, but he can’t fight it. He can feel himself wanting to give in to Even, but that would just be ridiculous. He can’t be what Even wants him to be, no matter how hard he tries.

“See…? I can see that you want to, just let me try. I swear I’d woo the fuck out of you.”

Even sounds so sure, and he probably is. He’s probably never had anybody tell him no before.

Isak smiles a small private smile at himself, looking at his coffee cup. If only they’d met a few years ago, Isak is sure he would have been able to make room in his life for someone like Even. And he probably would have fit right in. But other people had taken Even’s place, other people who didn’t fit in. And they had made Isak scared of trying, scared of getting hurt over and over again. He just couldn’t do it anymore.

Isak gets up from the bench. Turns towards Even and sighs dejectedly. “I’m just going to go now. Thanks for the coffee, though.”

And he turns and leaves and doesn’t look back.

He’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day, and sleeps like shit that night. It’s not even because he regrets it, it’s just the fact that someone like Even thinks he’s even worth their effort. He doesn’t want to spend enough time with him for him to find out that Isak is worth shit.

His sour mood just keeps growing over the next few days. It’s getting harder and harder for him to sleep, to concentrate, to leave his bed. All his self-medicating normally keeps these moods at bay, but somehow getting noticed by Even is kicking all his anxieties into gear.

And Even is making it worse. Every time he sees Isak at campus, he walks up to him, tries to get him involved in a conversation. When Isak doesn’t stop walking for him, he just walks besides him and talks over Isak, ignoring him. Isak doesn’t have the strength to keep telling him to back off. He’s sure that Even thinks he’s being cute, but he’s really not. He’s just fucking with Isak, making him completely mess up his routine to the point where nothing seems to work for him anymore.

\--||--

It all comes to a head the following weekend. Isak is high as a kite and so completely wasted on cheap vodka that he’s slumped on a coach, almost too out of it to notice the party going on around him. He’s barely slept in four days and he almost feels like the world isn’t even real anymore. Nobody had questioned his resolve to get this shit-faced, the truth is that there’s very little he could do to get his friends to question his behaviour. He’s sitting there alone, feeling pathetic and useless and wondering how he’s ever going to get past this.

He feels the sofa dip besides him and isn’t really surprised when he turns his head and notices Even sitting beside him. He nods at him, tries to throw some kind of smile at him, although he’s not really sure what his face is doing as he really can’t feel it anymore.

Even looks concerned, like Isak is something to care about. The thought almost makes him laugh, almost, but seconds later it just makes him want to cry.

Isak feels like he should say something, anything, but his mouth is cotton-dry and his mind is scrambled and he’s too high to think straight. He feels overwhelmed by just having to think of something to say so instead he just gives in to his high and melts into the couch even more.

“Isak, how much have you had to drink?” Even says, still so fucking concerned. Can’t he just go away?

With the utmost effort, Isak waves his hand around, in a way that hopefully tells Even that he hasn’t had enough to drink. He’s not sure his hand-gesture really gets to Even, because he’s still looking worried.

“Fuck off, Even,” Isak finally manages to say, and he’s so happy he finally got his mouth to work that he starts smiling. That just deepens Even’s frown.

“Let me walk you home.”

He gets up and starts pulling at Isak and if only Isak was coherent enough and the weed hadn’t turned his joints into noodles, he would definitely battle Even for even touching him right now. In the end there’s no fight in Isak, so he just lets himself be led away from the party by Even.

They walk for a bit, Even’s strong arms holding Isak up enough that his legs can actually carry him. Isak hates himself a little bit for wanting to bury further into Even’s arms. The heat of him seeps into Isak, making him feel sleepy and safe.

“Jesus, you’re drunk.” Even curses when he has to stop him swerving too far from the sidewalk once more, and adds. “And heavy.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Isak mumbles, his eyes half-lidded and he can’t help but giggle a little at how _perfect_ that comeback was. Even doesn’t laugh though, it’s almost like he can’t quite appreciate how funny Isak is.

“I don’t even fucking know where you live,” Even mutters under his breath and his voice sounds strained, like he’s using all his strength to keep Isak going.

Isak tries to tell him, he really does, but his mouth isn’t working right and he ends up mumbling something he himself even can’t decipher.

Even stops, turns him towards him and studies his face. Isak tries to stand as still as he can, looks back at Even. Can’t help the slow smile that spreads over his face at how gorgeous Even looks. He really feels like he should tell him, but before he can, Even pushes his fringe out of the way reverently and smiles back at him.

“I’m just going to take you home to my place. Okay, baby?”

And Isak wants to roll his eyes at him and fight him a little bit, he’s absolutely nobody’s baby. But Even just puts his arm around him again, and he’s so strong and warm, and _right there_ , that Isak just gives in to it.

He’s pretty sure that he must have fallen asleep while they were walking a few times, he’s losing chunks of time and is pleasantly surprised when he finds himself standing in front of Even’s bed. It looks so inviting and sleep-inducing, and he immediately lies down on top of the covers and melts into the mattress. He can hear Even sigh like he’s annoyed at him. He forces his eyes open and sees Even standing there with his hands on his hips, nodding at his shoes.

Isak blinks at him, understands that it’s a bad idea to wear shoes to bed, but he doesn’t have the strength to do anything about it. Reluctantly Even sits down on the bed with his back to Isak and starts untying the shoelaces.

“I fucked you here on this bed,” Isak says as a way to make polite conversation.

He can hear the smile in Even’s voice when he answers. “Yes, you did.”

“Mmm. It was nice.”

Even looks over his shoulder at Isak for a hot second before he goes back to untying Isak’s shoe. “Yes, it was.”

Even manages to take off one shoe, then starts on the other. Isak is warm, feels cared for in a way he can’t remember ever being. Nobody has ever helped him take off his shoes while drunk. But he has to tell Even that he shouldn’t.

“I’m too fucked up for you, Even,” he says and sees Even stop fiddling with his shoe and turn around to look at him.

“Why do you say that?”

Isak shrugs, or makes a movement that he hopes could be considered a shrug. His entire body’s feeling really heavy by now.

“I am. Nobody wants to be with someone like me. It’s alright, I know how it is and I understand. I’m just saying there’s no reason for you to keep this up. Acting like you want me. I’m just not worth it.”

And he can feel Even’s stare burning into him. He wants to hold Even’s gaze, wants to show him how much Isak means it, how okay it is for Even to stop caring, how Isak‘s used to it by now. That’s what people do to Isak. But his eyelids are getting heavier and the bed’s so comfortable and he just stops fighting and falls asleep.

When he wakes up he’s pinned down on the bed by Even, who’s wrapped around him. His head is killing him, and he’s so fucking hot, still in most of his clothes. He’s confused for a second what he’s doing in Even’s bed, and he turns his head to look at him. He jumps a bit when he finds Even’s eyes looking right back at him.

“That’s really creepy, you know?” Isak says, voice hoarse, and trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. “You watching me sleep.”

Even moves his arms a bit, but not enough, not away from Isak, just turns it into a caress where his thumb is drawing circles on the small sliver of skin between his t-shirt and pants.

“I like watching you sleep. In my bed. Next to me,” he says and minutely moves closer while looking at Isak’s lips.

Isak pulls back. No fucking way he’s going to let Even kiss him. Not like this, not with him all sweaty and gross and hungover. He feels like something died in his mouth, and he wouldn’t be surprised if something actually did.

“You know, the last time you were here I woke up alone,” Even says, and Isak can’t even deal with this sort of thing on a normal day, not to mention this day with a hangover from hell.

“What?” he sputters, completely unprepared, trying to buy some time to get his mind to get into this conversation they’re apparently having.

“I’d hoped you would’ve stayed,” Even says and licks his lips. He smiles a bit, like what he’s about to say is teasing. “You know, it’s really bad manners to take somebody’s virginity and then just leave them like that.”

And Isak is sure that Even thinks he’s real cute, but what even is this? He just woke up. So his clever response is another, “What?”

He’s not real proud of it, he’s just not that functional when he’s just waken up.

Even laughs a bit at him. Apparently scrambled, fucked-up Isak is adorable to him. Isak _hates_ that he finds that endearing.

Instead of continuing the conversation, Even extricates himself from him, one limb at a time, and gets out of bed. He’s in a t-shirt and briefs, and as he starts walking out of the room he says over his shoulder, “I’m cooking breakfast for you.”

And then he’s gone. Isak presumes he’s heading for the kitchen.

Isak gets up slowly, confused and hesitant. He takes off some of his layers, trying to cool down a bit, and looks around him. Even’s bedroom looks so different from his own, with small trinkets littered across every possible surface, little drawings on the wall, and books and clothes everywhere. Isak immediately feels more at home here than he’s ever done in his own apartment.

He finally leaves the bedroom and heads for what he presumes is the bathroom, where he does his business and throws some cold water on his face. He looks at himself in the mirror, blinks at the wide-eyed tired looking boy he sees there. He almost doesn’t recognise himself anymore.

By the time he leaves the bathroom he’s decided that he’s just going to leave. He’s going to find Even and tell him _thanks, but no thanks_ and then he’s going to go home and try to forget all about Even. Again.

But when he gets to the kitchen, Even’s dancing to a low beat on the radio, mouthing along, flipping a pancake. The smell of it makes Isak’s mouth water. And the sight of Even like that, so at home, so at ease, so domestic, makes Isak’s heart flutter. He wants to go over there, put his arms around Even and just press himself against him, breathe him in, feel his heartbeat under his hands. He wants to kiss him, he really, really wants to kiss him.

Isak is interrupted in his thoughts by Even who turns to him, like he knew he was there all along.

“They’re almost done, I figured I couldn’t go completely wrong with something sweet and fried.” He smiles at Isak, like this is something they do every day, like he’s used to Isak being in his apartment.

“Sit down,” Even says and nods towards a tiny table by the window, already set. There’s just room for two people there, and Isak is so confused and surprised by Even’s behaviour that he just follows his instructions.

He sits there for a minute, just blinking, looking at Even as he finishes making the pancakes, and before Isak even realises how badly he needs it, Even puts a large glass of water in front of him.

“I probably should have made you drink that last night, but you were out like a light. I figure you could probably still use it, though.”

And Isak takes it, still completely dazed, still completely unsure of what's going on, and it’s only when he starts drinking that he discovers how completely dehydrated he is. He finishes the glass in five long gulps and sets it back on the table empty.  

“Why are you doing this?” Isak finally manages to ask. He can barely look at Even as he asks, can hear the vulnerability in his own voice, and he _hates_ when that shines through for other people to pick up on.

Even turns to look at Isak properly, tilts his head to the side and smiles. Isak is beginning to discover that Even smiles a lot, it almost doesn’t matter what Isak says to him.

“I can’t take care of someone that I care about?” Even says. Like it really is that easy.

Isak can’t help but scoff. “You don’t care about me,” he says. It’s not a question, because he knows that nobody cares about him.

Even just shakes his head, like he would with a small child who’s being unreasonable.

“Let’s just eat, the pancakes are done.”

They sit opposite each other, knees bumping under the small table, there’s barely even room for the two of them. Even loads up Isak’s plate with pancakes, and as soon as Isak takes the first bite he realises he’s completely famished. He can’t even really recall when he’d last had a warm meal. He ignores everything, ignores the awkwardness, the confusion, the flutter in his stomach, and resigns himself to eating Even’s delicious pancakes.

Afterwards Isak’s so full that he can barely move. Even just kept putting pancakes on his plate, patiently feeding him, seemingly enjoying every bite that Isak had been taking. He looks like someone who enjoys providing for a loved one. But Isak couldn’t deal with that thought so he’d just eaten and eaten, taking full advantage of having a readily served meal right in front of him.

He sits there, letting Even handle the clean-up, just can’t stand the idea of getting up to help him. He’d probably just kept on sitting there if Even hadn’t come over to take his hand and lead him out of the kitchen into the living room, which Isak hasn’t been in before. Even points to the couch.

“Sit down,” he says, before going to some elaborate set-up with too many buttons for Isak to cope with. “I’m going to put on a movie.”

Isak doesn’t understand why he’s being such a pushover, but he doesn’t resist, just takes a seat in what turns out to be a fucking comfortable sofa. He lets himself enjoy it and melts into the soft cushions.

Even starts the movie and comes to sit down next to him, much too close to be coincidental. He puts his arm around Isak’s shoulders and Isak should say something, should object to this, but he feels more at ease than he has in a very long time. He just can’t find it in him to stop himself from having this, to be touched and treated like he’s actually worth something. So he resigns himself to the fact that he can always leave later and just leans in closer to Even. He’s asleep within five minutes of the movie starting.

When Isak wakes back up, it’s in increments. Like he’s stuck in molasses and is just slowly floating to the surface. He can’t remember the last time he slept so well. He feels so well-rested, wants to stretch out his limbs and notice the change in every crevice of his body.  

It takes him a while to notice that he’s completely engulfed in someone’s arms, but he doesn’t want to get out, he just wants to stay there forever, so he burrows deeper into the body he’s pressed against.

As he rises to the surface further, more details starts registering. Like whoever he’s lying against smells really good, and he can’t help but take a deep breath just to get more of that sweet smell into his lunges. He can’t help the contented sigh that escapes him and he feels the body he’s pressed against chuckling.

He’s feeling punch drunk and can’t help but say, “I want to wake up like this every day.” His voice is low and sincere, and in return he gets pulled further in by the arms.

He recognises those arms now, knows who he’s lying pressed against so tightly. He looks inside for the alarm that should be setting in, for the need, the urge, to flee. To pull away. But it doesn’t come. He just wants to give himself over to this. He’s so tired, so fucking tired of always running.

“You can,” Even says and kisses his hair, his forehead and his nose. Isak can’t help but smile, completely overwhelmed with how much Even is touching him, when he’s so used to being alone.

He doesn’t know how to answer him though. He can feel his resolve weakening. Is finding it harder and harder to fight the urge to just give in as he’s lying here safe and completely at ease in Even’s arms.

He finally opens his eyes and tilts his head so he can look at Even. Even looks back at him with a gleam in his eye, a gleam Isak had forgotten about. He can’t help but share some of his insecurities.

“You don’t even know me,” he says and knows that it’s a feeble attempt to make Even understand what it is he wants to take on.

Even smiles, because of course he does. He leans in to kiss Isak’s forehead again, and whispers against it, “I know that there is much about you I don’t know, and I’m sure I could spend a lifetime trying to get to know you and still not know everything. But I know enough. I know that I would really like to get the chance to know you.” And Even laughs a little at that, and Isak is infatuated with how adorable he is when he rambles.

“Yeah? You want to take a chance with me?” Isak says in a teasing tone.

And Even’s smile just gets bigger, he seems so excited that Isak is playing along. “Yes. Definitely. I really want to, Isak.”

He looks so sincere and Isak suddenly wants to tell him how he’s just going to fuck it up. Even’s just going to get tired of him, because Isak isn’t enough and won’t ever be. But as he looks into Even’s eyes he realises that he wants this chance. He can’t help the lingering doubt in him that keeps saying _what if this time he could actually be enough?_ It’s been such a long time since he even considered letting himself try. After the last time he was abandoned, told he wasn’t quite what they wanted, he had just given up, couldn’t stand the thought of it happening to him again. Couldn’t imagine that he would survive having his heart broken again.

“We would have to go slow,” Isak says and feels his voice waver. “It’s been a while for me. I haven’t… been close to someone in a long time.” And he can’t believe how honest he’s being, doesn’t understand how Even can coax it out of him so easily.

Even nods and keeps quiet, like he instinctively knows that Isak isn’t done. And Isak lets himself look at Even. Looks his fill, takes him in in all his glory. He finds some kind of assurance there, knows that this could easily just crash and burn again. But he doesn’t stop himself when the words press out of him, he just takes a deep breath and says it.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s just do it.”

And Even lifts his head a bit, eyes flitting between his, and he lifts his eyebrows and says, “Yeah?” like he can’t believe it, like Isak just made his wish come true.

Isak can’t take Even looking so happy, that he’s the cause of it. His entire body tingles and he has to kiss him, he simply has to, so he leans forward and catches his lips.

Isak never knew before Even just how wonderful kisses interrupted by smiles could be.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this verse, and if you guys like it too let me know. :)  
> I'm thinking of continuing it as a series. If there's something specific you would be interested in reading in this verse, let me know, I'll see if I can incoorporate it. 
> 
> I'm [nofeartina](http://nofeartina.tumblr.com/) on tumblr as well, come play with me. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make me a happy camper!!! :D


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